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Sunday, April 23, 2006
Posted 3:18 AM by

White collar crime day in Philly?

Just what Philly needed - a convention of defense lawyers who specialize in getting white collar criminals off the hook. Hope they packed plenty of business cards.It could only happen in Philadelphia - May 3rd is the National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers' White Collar Crime Day!

No, the lawyers won't be committing crimes. At least not until after their full day seminar at the Sheraton Society Hill, where they'll focus on giving criminals in suits the best defense their ill-gotten money can buy.

As if nouveau riche scumbags needed better lawyers.

According to the NACDL's Web site, "Seasoned white collar lawyers and professionals will share their insight on how to represent white collar defendants in a wide array of cases. This program will appeal to both seasoned white collar veterans who want to broaden his or her expertise as well as serve as a primer for those who are interested in starting a white collar practice. We will update you on current cases and introduce you to the relevant issues and precautions in Securities Law, Criminal Tax Enforcement, Healthcare Fraud, Mail and Wire Fraud, Sentencing in a Post-Booker World, as well as two panels on dealing with joint defense agreements, parallel proceedings, immunity agreements, and the when, where, why, and how to proffer."

Proffer means to turn state's evidence, which sounds like a last resort for these folks.

A better way of celebrating this most auspicious holiday, short of spitting in the shrimp cocktail or pulling the hotel fire alarms (I'd never advocate such stuff), would be to create more clients to keep these lawyers busier than ever.

To that end, if you know someone who's carrying the blackbag, got their hand in the till or has turned the shakedown into a fine art, here's some folks who would love to hear from you:

  • Philadelphia City Controller Alan Butkovitz.
  • Philadelphia's Ethics Board.
  • Philadelphia's Committee of 70 (for vote fraud).
  • Pennsylvania Attorney General Tom Corbett, who recently started a seven-lawyer Public Corruption Unit when he wasn't busy taking campaign finance checks from felon and slots parlor hopeful Louis DeNaples.
  • The state Ethics Commission for public officials who sell their office or are hiding money.
  • The state Department of State for complaints against licensed professionals and campaign finances of statewide elected officials.
  • Ralph W. Burnham, chief of the Pennsylvania Insurance Department's Anti-fraud Compliance Division.
  • The Pennsylvania Department of Banking.
  • Donald L. Patterson, Pennsylvania's Inspector General.
  • The FBI (when they're not too busy taking proffer from Rick Mariano and wiring up Harrisburg lobbyist John J. O'Connell)
  • The Internet Crime Complaint Center.
  • U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales (when he isn't too busy making excuses for President Bush or letting his assistants sabotage the case against Big Tobacco).


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