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Bogarting the furniture
Like vampires want blood, dead celebrities now want your money.

Blame it on Woody Allen.

If he hadn't borrowed the image of Humphrey Bogart for "Play It Again, Sam" we might not have to deal with the aftermath now.

In case you haven't seen the commercial, Bogie is back from the dead, again.

The late, great actor's visage is now being used to schill furniture after his first successful resurrection to pitch jewelry.

Admittedly, the commercial for Thomasville's latest line is tastefully done. It's just a black and white picture of the founder of the Rat Pack and lots of shots of pretty, but pricey pieces of furniture.

That's far better than seeing a computer-generated Fred Astaire dancing with a vacuum cleaner or John Wayne ordering soldiers to find his beer.

It's still a disturbing trend, though. Like vampires that want blood, dead celebrities now want your money.

Where's Buffy when you need her? Somebody has to drive a stake into these ad creators.

There are no limits what the technology can do. What's next? Will we see a computer-generated Yul Brenner in cigarette ads. How about Andy Warhol in soup commercials or Ronald Reagan pitching ginseng? What if Dave Thomas or Clara "Where's the beef?" Peller comes back to bolster Wendy's hamburger sales?

Would you buy Jesus Christ selling sandals or Mahatma Ghandi selling "peace keeping" hand guns?

Or how about a picture of yourself standing with a gun on the grassy knoll in Dallas during the Kennedy assassination.

Think about it. With enough time and a computer, almost anything is possible.

Can you really trust your eyes when you watch TV or see a picture in a magazine?

RELATED LINKS

• I'm not the only one to think this way.
• Doors closed. Not over Jim Morrison's dead body.
• Dead talent agency
• Protecting icons from exploitation
• Attack of the celebrity vacuum cleaner salesman ghouls

IT'S A WEIRD WEB WORLD
(Wire stories you might have missed, but shouldn't.)

As costs rise, doctors add fees for e-mails, phone calls
People quick to phone their family doctor for medical advice, a prescription renewal or information for a health-history form may soon find themselves paying for the convenience.

Barred from drink ads, college paper reports on drink specials
The list, put together by a reporter who called bars and restaurants, featured more than a dozen places with specials including half-priced margaritas, vodka shots for $1.50 and one called "Kick the Keg."

A "bird" for all seasons
Is the middle finger really losing its badness?
Celebrities use it. Star athletes all but flaunt it. Even small children occasionally raise a grumpy middle finger in a world where Ozzie and Harriet have been replaced by Ozzy and Sharon, the foul-mouthed, bird-flipping parents from the MTV reality show, "The Osbournes."

A Native American casino in Bucks County?
The Lenape Nation of Southeastern Pennsylvania is renewing its push for state recognition, though the American Indian tribe faces suspicions that its goal is an attempt to pave the way for a casino.

Judge who pleaded guilty to extortion may get state disability
An Allegheny County judge who pleaded guilty to extorting money from an attorney and acknowledged doing the same with a second lawyer has been medically approved for a one-year state disability pension, a newspaper reported Saturday.

Dave Ralis' Pave The Grass column appears on Mondays. You can send him an e-mail at . To read his previous columns, click here.